i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
