i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Where is the hickey?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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