i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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