Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
