so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
