Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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