Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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