I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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