I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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