The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
