It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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