They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
