i dedicated my morning wood to you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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