So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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