I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
