I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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