i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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