Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
