I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
