So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
