Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
