I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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