They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
