Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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