So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It's just like the Real World with babies
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
