it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
