Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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