i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
