Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
