If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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