This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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