we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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