? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
