dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
