i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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