Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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