No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
