What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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