and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
