Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
