New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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