dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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