i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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