On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
