I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
