i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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