Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
