Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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