She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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