hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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